Short Story; Shadow Girl.

As we are all growing up, we go through different things and different phases. I, like many others, explored throughout my teen years. I look back and find it quite funny, but in the moment it was a little confusing. Trying to figure out who you are in those teenage years is quite scary, because you also want to fit in. I wrote a short story for an assignment and I'm quite proud of it, so i thought this could be my first post of 2019. The story is called shadow girl, it is based on how i guess a teen would try and blend with people they don't necessarily blend with, and how is it completely acceptable to be different from people. We forget in those confusing years that we don't all need to blend into one category, we don't need to only be friends with certain people in certain cliques, we can be flexible and mingle with everyone. This is just a little way of portraying the mindset in those moments, when you think you have to be a certain way. 

I didn't understand that, and i just wanted to belong. So here is my fictional short story; 

Shadow girl.

 “It’s not a phase, Mom!!!!” I exclaimed. It is most definitely a phase, but I can’t admit that. I don’t want anyone to know that I am pretending, they can’t know the truth. I grab a wipe, fix my thick clumpy eye make-up, before shoving my school essentials into my backpack, and heading out the door.  Winter is really the season I love, the brisk cold air kissing my skin and the Christmas lights lit so beautifully on the streets. I love that the leaves are still scattered around, and that everyone is wrapped up warm. Winter makes my heart warm, but school does not. “Hey Sarah, wait for me!” oh no, not Maria. I turn quickly to see her sprinting towards me, “Hey Maria.” She smiles and throws her arms around me. How could I ever admit that this change wasn’t one I was happy with?  

“So, I got us tickets for Bullet for my Valentine! I know, I’m the best!” Despair filled entire body. I don’t want to go, I don’t want to listen to this music anymore, I don’t want to have to get up 40 minutes earlier to do my make-up. I want to be myself. But I don’t say that, instead it comes out as “Oh my god, really?! Cannot wait!”  

All Maria wants to talk about is the concert. I’m sitting at our gloomy lunch table with the people I’m supposed to now consider my friends and I still feel out of place. Why don’t I fit in? Trying to get out of my own head, I look around. Searching the room for a group I’d rather be mingling with; but won’t ever go to, I notice something. The guy on the next table is staring. I think his name is Corey, I make eye contact with him and swiftly look away hoping that it was just a mistake. I slowly find his gaze again, and he’s still staring but now matched with a smirk. “Come on, Sarah.” Maria scoops me up off the seat, and we walk to class but all I can think about is that smirk, what does Corey know?  

I take my original seat next to Maria in music, grab my notebook and start listening. Mr Brown started rambling the minute we sat. “Right class, so we are going to be doing a group project.  You have assigned groups, so you can all mingle, so I don’t want any complaints. Okay?” I could feel it in my chest, I could feel that I was going to be in Corey’s group. But why am I so afraid? I don’t even know what he knows! It’s going to be fine, literally fine. “Sarah, Anna, Mike and…” Please not him, please not him, please not him. “Corey. Get into your groups guys and start plans for a mock concert. Go!” I put my head into my hands, and just hoped everyone would make their way over to me. “Hey Sarah.” I looked up and tried to smile, it was only Anna. “Are you okay? The group isn’t that bad, right?”  

Anna was an academic genius, and she was so pretty. Sometimes I wished I had Anna’s life. She had a good social group, she was on top of her grades, and she looked genuinely happy. Unlike me, searching for my place in society when I clearly didn’t belong anywhere.  “Sarah, Anna.” Corey nodded at us and took his seat. Mike seemed to be absent, so we got cracking. “So, would we want a classic concert or a rock concert? What would you prefer, Sarah?” There it was. That smirk. I just stared widely, it was like he was reading my mind. “Leave her alone Corey, it doesn’t matter.” Anna instructed. The lesson felt as though it went on forever. The longest 60 minutes of my life, but I’d rather be there than at the concert tomorrow.  

The thought of Corey outing me to my ‘friend’s’ kind of scared me, even though I didn’t know if he would or even if he knew. They won’t like me anymore if I am not exactly like them, will they? The minute I got home after school the next day, I watched a few Christmas movies, shed a few tears over Cameron Diaz falling for Jude Law in The Holiday, and it was time. Time for the concert. I reapplied the thick make up, the dark clothes, my bulky boots and set myself off.  

Maria was pumped, so I just tried to mimic her energy. I couldn’t care less, all I could think was is this a normal thing to be doing as a teenager? “Stay on this side, we want to avoid the mosh--!” I could barely hear her over the support act, but before I knew it, I was pulled in a mosh pit. It was like being sucked into a blackhole, I just couldn’t escape it. I was being pushed two and from all these fans, I tried to move but before I knew it, a huge fist made its way towards me in total slow motion. Where was Maria? I thought. That’s when I blacked out.  

When I started regaining consciousness, I could hear voices, “My brother is picking me up, how am I going to get her home like that?” Maria panicking, of course. “My mom will take her home, don’t worry Maria.” Who was that? Slowly I opened my eyes and I turned my head to see who it was beside me, and there he was. Corey and that smirk. I looked up at Corey and rolled my eyes. He was like a bad smell, I couldn’t get rid of him if I tried. It was almost as if I had been sprayed by a skunk, and he was the odour. Maria had already disappeared, and she ran to her brother’s car, whilst Corey helped me get into his Mom’s car, and we just kept quiet.  

After a short while, he broke the silence, “So, why don’t you tell her?” I didn’t understand what he was getting at, I didn’t even think he knew. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Corey.” He forced a laugh. “Oh Sarah, I see right through you. You’re not happy! You just got punched in the face over a band you don’t care for!” He was right, but why would I admit it to him If I couldn’t admit it to my own mother or even myself most of the time? I didn’t know how to lie, I was drained. I looked out of the window, I knew I was almost home and just as the car stopped, he took my hand. “Sarah be you. I know this isn’t you.” I pulled my hand back, “Thanks but you don’t know me, Corey.” Then I ran into the house. I sprinted upstairs, shut the door and looked in the mirror. He is right, what am I doing?  

I barely slept that night, Corey’s words resounding in my head. He was right, I wasn’t happy. The next morning, my alarm blared loudly, and I found myself standing in front of the mirror again. Who are you going to be today, Sarah? I got ready as me, the me I wanted to be. The minute I got onto the school grounds I wanted to go home, and just as I turned to do so, there he was. Something about that smirk made me feel like everything was going to be okay. That’s when Maria came to me, looked me up and down and before I could blurt and explanation she shrugged and said, “Different but still cute. Now let’s go!” 

Thank you for reading. 

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